


Turn Back the Dial

by Dance_Elle_Dance



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 02:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4902490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dance_Elle_Dance/pseuds/Dance_Elle_Dance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If she could turn back the clock to where she didn't end up loving him, she would. And immediately after that thought races across her mind, the word 'liar' follows. (Originally posted on 9/20/11.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turn Back the Dial

**Author's Note:**

> Another re-post of one of my Bamon fanfics. Please enjoy!

There are some things that, Bonnie supposes, are set in stone. Things that, if one had a time machine, that no one could change. Fixed moments, unable to be altered no matter what. She supposes that is how the world works. Because, frankly, if one were able to change every bad thing that ever happened…wouldn't the world be vastly different? And it might not even be in a good way.

(Bonnie also supposes she's been watching too much Doctor Who.)

She thinks that this is one of those things that shouldn't be meddled with.

It's not like she hasn't tried to meddle with it herself, but she doesn't necessarily have a time machine or any way to make it so she doesn't fall in love with him. So she supposes she'll just have to deal with it as it confronts her.

She's like that, you know.

She just has this… _condition_ , she likes to call it. Sometimes Bonnie wonders if the affliction will ever be cured. Most days it doesn't look like it will ever be the same. Her pre-Salvatore life seems to never be within her grasp. Some days, she wants nothing but to let her live the life before the enigmatic vampires invaded town. Other days, she wonders how she would get by if they suddenly left.

In particular, the eldest Salvatore.

Like she said before, it's not like she meant for it to happen. The whole thing just… _is._

She can't stop the way her heart beats for him just as she can't stop the weather, or something equally silly and unpredictable (or cliché).

So, she just deals with it.

Even now, she can't seem to shake the feeling just being around him has given her. It's strange, something that she wouldn't trade for the world being something that she really wants to get rid of. She's seen the way women fall for him and it never ends well. She vows to herself that she won't be one of those women, but then again, she's no genius at controlling her own heart.

Because frankly, she's Bonnie and he's Damon and she's never met anyone that was as intriguing to her as he is. She doesn't think she ever will, either. She believes that everything that draws her to Damon will never be replicated in another person. Vampirism aside. She could care less if he's a vampire (even though she hates them). The only thing she cares about is him and it pains her to know that she's fallen that far.

She so wishes she could turn back the clock, wind it back to when she first met him and prevent herself from ever developing this strange feelings for him. It would make everything so much easier.

Like when he flirts with other girls, she wouldn't wish he were talking to her instead.

Like when he flirts with her, she wouldn't get her hopes up.

Like now, when he's staring at Elena, she wouldn't _hurt._

But she knows that's a silly, funny little wish. Something that she shouldn't invest any thought in whatsoever. But she does. And she hates it.

She knows that it also does no good to stare at him, to watch as his eyes change ever-so-slightly when Elena talks, when she moves, when she laughs. Especially when it's something that he does to cause that. But she knows that he hurts in his own way. She knows that he is in pain just as she is. Because, in a way, they are in the same boat.

Loving someone, never being able to tell them. It's a conflict as old as time itself and they are both set smack into the center of it. With different people involved, of course, but the central conflict remains.

He knows her eyes are on him - he always knows - and she watches him as he turns to face her. She's not surprised. She's never surprised anymore when it comes to Damon Salvatore.

He gives her an intrigued look, a slight lift of his dark brows and a twinkling in his light-colored eyes. A smile quirks his lips and - _damn it_ \- her heart flutters around in her chest like some manic butterfly.

Times like this, moments like this, are when she thinks that he can actually love her like he loves Elena. But then he gives her a slight wink before turning back to his conversation with the woman that truly holds his interest. And it's not her.

And Bonnie shouldn't be bitter, she really shouldn't. It's just so predictable for a girl to be caught up over a vampire - at least in books and whatnot - but she just can't help it. Because he's Damon and she's Bonnie and no matter how much she would like to take a time machine and change things, she knew that even if she succeeded in doing just that, they would fall back right into the place they are right now.

To make that shorter, this thing she feels…it's irreversible.

Caroline's saying something to her now. She turns and tries to pretend to be interested, but her friend has already noticed what was going on. She gives her a knowing smile and her eyes stray for a minute to look at Stefan. Ah, yes, those Salvatore boys are capable of inflicting so much pain upon those that love them.

The blonde just smiles and Bonnie goes back into the conversation.

All along, though, she can't shake the feeling of Damon's eyes piercing her, and she just wishes everything could be normal for once. No feelings, no vampires, no jealousy, no Damon…

And Bonnie scoffs.

Because, frankly, that can never be the case.


End file.
